One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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