i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
