Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize