We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
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