worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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