i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
