The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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