marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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