We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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