fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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