trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize