Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
