can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
