Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Randomize
