How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
farters have to be the big spoon...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize