How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
