STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
