The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
