So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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