You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
there is puke in my bra ... again
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
