u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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