the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
