So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
