I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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