when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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