Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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