Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
