it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
