It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
