Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
