At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize