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i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
