one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
