the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
