$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We are all done wearing pants today
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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