and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
