it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
as a side note pls kill me
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
