Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
