It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
