so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
