Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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