I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
