Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
