I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
