I just threw up on my dentist
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
