You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
