We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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