fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
