Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
