She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize