Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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