so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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