is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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