All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
