Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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