New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
