I queefed so loud it echoed.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
