Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
In America we eat man semen.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize