i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
