Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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