jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
So vagazzling was a success
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
