I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I don't think brook has ever known best
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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