I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
