I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
