I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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