its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
