fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
