Define "chronic" masturbator.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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