i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
