Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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