If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
