Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
