the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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