she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
