are you still at the devil's house?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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