Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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